Busy Bee Mommy & Daddy

By now you probably have realized that my blogs have been very minimal since the duke joined our little world. I never realized how much time and energy it takes to take care of an infant--so HATS OFF to all those mommies out there. I am loving every minute of being home with the duke (and my waistline/stomach is too--eating ALL DAY LONG and it is expanding--this must stop) because he changes every day and I am eating it up. He is cooing more and the laughs/smiles make you melt. Robert gets a kick out of all the sounds he makes and during the day I try to send him videos so he doesn't miss a beat. The duke is getting more active and he is staying up more during the day too so that means not much work time for this mommy. Its ok though because when Robert comes home he instantly turns into "Super Daddy/Hubby" to take care of things around the home and to watch the duke when I need a moment to do a few things--he really is the best!  We are very appreciative of his grandparents too as they come over to give lots of loving and to give us a good nights sleep.

The duke went on his first and very quick outing to meet Santa. He was dressed in his sweet little Santa outfit and had his pacifier in the whole time. I placed him on Santa's lap and asked Santa if he minded if the pacifier stayed in and Santa said "he looks to be enjoying it so we can keep it in". It was so sweet. NeNe and Grandma Barbara attended the photo session and got some more cuddles once we were home.

On Monday, December 8 our little one went in for his first medical procedure. He was circumcised (he will hate me for posting this when he is 16 but oh well!). Now, I know that some people do not agree with this procedure but we felt this was best for our son so please keep all negative comments to yourself--thank you! The doctors and nurses were so sweet and gave us a good talking to before we agreed to go forward. The doctor was his doctor at birth and he was so happy to see our little duke again. The doctor was bantering back and forth with Robert and they were laughing while I was sitting there thinking "you better just make sure my boy is ok". So once we agreed the doctor went on back and completed the procedure. It was super short and he came in praising our little boy. We went on into the room and my boy was not happy at all--this was to be expected. He was given a little Tylenol and passed to daddy because mommy could not  handle the crying and was upset herself---my anxiety was passed on to the duke which was not good. Once handed to daddy he was good to go. We headed home an hour after the procedure and we have been doing well since. He is healing well and is back to our happy go lucky baby boy.

Ready or not here is my next list of things I have learned....

• there is a minimum of three clothes changes a day for the duke(sometimes mommy)
• when he wants to eat, HE WANTS TO EAT
• he loves music and his mobiles--yes he has two
• he enjoys riding in the car
• he is ticklish on his belly
• he loves to be talked to--reading books is a good way to do this!
• he doesn't mind peeing(or pooping) on you
• at times he likes to be naked
• burping is a rough subject
• he loves his pacifier

Life continues to be fantastic and we love the duke so much. He has brought so much joy into our lives and we think to everyone he meets. Please continue to pray with us as we navigate the world of adoption. We do not know of the date of finalization as there are a few things that need to be handled legally but we know that God has a plan and we just need to buckle up and enjoy the ride. Keep the prayers going!!

Just in case I do not get a moment to blog before Christmas, we hope you all have a wonderful holiday season....MERRY CHRISTMAS from Robert, Jill, The Duke and Roddy.

Has It Really Been a Month?

Wow, it has been exactly one month since our precious little boy has been in our home(and hearts!). It has gone by soooo fast and I want time to stand still. I know now when mommies say to soak it up because they are right, time just slips away.  Every day I look at him I see something different. He has pudged(is that even a word?) up so much from his birth and he is becoming so much more alert. He will look at me in the eyes now and I just fall more and more in love with this sweet boy every day. He has us (and everyone he meets) wrapped around his little fingers.

 Since I love list, here are a few of the Dukes favorite things:

• I love to eat but on my own terms....I will eat 2.5 to 4 ounces each feeding but don't make me eat more than I want or I will clench my lips tight!
• I love listening to music
• I enjoy watching my mobile go around and around while laying in my crib
• I love when people sing to me or him right close to my head--it is so soothing
• I love to be swaddled and this is when I sleep the best
• I enjoy waking up mom and dad every three to four hours at night
• I sleep best in mommy or daddy's arms but I like my rock and play too--as long as it is in their room (no crib sleeping for me yet)
• Tummy time is becoming more fun but only for a few minutes at a time
• Mam pacifiers are the only ones I will use--I might be a little stubborn
• I love snuggles (especially with my mommy)

Our sweet boy keeps us on our toes but we love every minute of it. We love our sweet boy and are so thankful for our little gift from God.

1 Sam 1:27

Ten Things The Duke Has Taught Me

1- Sleep is something I love but it is now a thing of the past
2- Zipper Sleepers are the best outfits in the world
3- Soy Formula makes for a gassy (and stinky at times) baby
4- Snuggles are amazing (I will do this all day, every day)
5- Boys pee like water fountains (he has peed on me, nene, and a nurse at the doctors office)
6- 3:30am feedings are fun (ok, not really but when his wide eyes look at me and he smiles, I melt)
7- we will never eat at regular meal hours again
8- grunts and coos are music to my ears
9- laundry/bottle washing never ends
10- He is loved by so many.  The gifts and hand me downs have filled our home and we are extremely grateful. 

Everyone I talk to about the duke tells me they have been praying for us and him. I get chills every time I talk about the phone call. My God has orchestrated this entire union and we know He is continuing to compose a beautiful story for our family.

We love our boy and ask that you keep praying with us.

There is a BABY in our house

Tuesday is a big blur but I will try my best to give you the details. Around 11am I got a call at my office from our adoptions worker and I thought the call was for an email I sent in refernce to an 11 year old. She said we have a two day old and wanted to know if you would like to be the placement. I said 'A baby?!?!' And she calmly reminded me to calm down and think it over.  I told her I would call her back in 30 minutes with an answer. I was flustered and my heart was doing flip flops.

I called Rob and told him. He was in shock too. I gave him ten minutes to think it over...Yep,10 minutes. I talked a few things over with my boss too so we could have a plan if we said yes.

Ten minutes quickly rolled by and I called Rob back. We talked and decided to go for it. We were not prepared for a baby but let's do it!

To back up a moment, on Monday I was very emotional and cried out to God to give us what we need and for me to not go after what I think He wants for us. To me this little bundle is God's answer to my prayer.

Back to Tuesday.  We said yes so I called our worker who told me the baby was a boy (I forgot to ask the first time we talked). She told me to expect a phone call that afternoon so we could go pick him up from the hospital - never in my dreams did I think we would have this experience!

At this point I called my mom and at first she didn't believe me but I assured her I was telling the truth. Once she knew I was serious she could not contain her joy. She went right to work on trying to get stuff for us because we were not prepared - our 9 months was 3 hours!

At 2 pm we went to the hospital.  We were given his stats and had a short info session on how to not freak out--the doctor could tell we were nervous. Finally, I got my hands on him and immediately fell on love. He is our boy! We put him in the car and headed home. We never thought we would have the moment to bring our child home from the hospital.  That moment was amazing.

Life has completely changed but for the better. We love each sleepless night, poop/wet diaper, snuggles and more.

We cannot wait for our boy to meet everyone.

Thank you for your prayers, keep them coming! 💙

One Year Has Passed...

To be honest, I was not really sure about what I wanted to share on the blog today but figured that friends and family might want to know what we have been up to in the adoption world. It has been one year since we started this journey to expanding our family. Man, it has flown by!!! It has been a roller coaster for sure but I feel Robert and I have grown so much as a couple and individuals. I could not imagine going through this with any other person but my husband. He lifts me up, dries my tears, and keeps me giggling. He is going to be an awesome daddy!!

Over the past few weeks we have been inquiring about children from all over the USA and we have received responses that our information was received and we will be contacted if chosen. Over the past ten days we have been contacted about three children we inquired about.....one is Arizona, one is Pennsylvania and one in SC--all boys!!! HA HA!!

We have been given basic info on the children and after discussions and research of "syndromes" and "diagnosis" we have decided that we are not the forever family for these three precious children. The hardest part is telling someone no but we have to do what is best for our family--we have learned our lesson.

In November we will be attending two events to meet children in SC and who knows, we might just make a connection with some children. We are keeping our options open and if we meet a child who is older than our age range but "clicks" with us we will not say no. Wish us luck!!!

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Foster Home License updating is still in limbo. We are technically "licensed" but we are trying to open up our age range and waiting for our license to be transferred from the regional office to the county office. We were told today by our worker that a new staff member has been assigned to help the office handle the licenses for our region so there might be a back log or slower response time until he/she is in place--at least she is checking on it!!

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Please pray with us about a nine year old little boy in SC. We have read his info and inquired but do not know if the worker is going to look at our info or not. The info we know feels like a match for us but we place this in Gods hands and pray that He will guide the worker to make the right decision--also pray that we will be at peace with whatever decision is made.

Thank you all for sticking with us through this process by being supportive and encouraging.  

Trippin' Truesdales

This weekend was a busy one but we had a good time. On Saturday, we went to a "Tea and Talk" at DSS with other adoptive families to discuss what we all have been feeling and voice concerns, etc. Thank you to a fellow adoptive family for getting this set up and for setting up a Facebook group for our Region so the families can interact and get advice from each other. I love a list so I made my Top 5 of what I learned at the meeting:

(1) Frustration is HIGH
(2) Workers are not calling/responding to families
(3) Waiting for some has been years (one family has been waiting for 6 years)
(4) We are not alone
(5) DSS needs to make some major changes or they will lose amazing adoptive families

At the beginning of the meeting a worker from another Region told us about her experience with the adoption process and gave us encouragement BUT she also showed us how lacking our Region is with communication and knowledge about their own jobs. It was awful hearing that some workers in our Region contact their families they work with once a year and this is to update their file--um, no ma'am this is not acceptable!!! Others stated that when they would receive communication that the messages would be short and almost dismissive. Obviously, the Region we are a part of needs an overhaul and some workers need to reevaluate if this is the type of work they need to be in or not---this is about children and families and if your heart is not in that then you need to go. It was very discouraging to hear the negative feedback about how other families have been "treated" during this process. I mean it is already a high stress, over emotional time period when going through the adoption process so the last thing your need is for your worker to cause you MORE stress/worry. My take-away from the meeting was that each family needs to MARKET themselves and be their own ADVOCATE.

After two hours of discussion, Rob and I had to leave b/c we were heading to Myrtle Beach for a little fun to end the Summer. We jumped onto Highway 17 and and in about two hours we were at our destination. The drive was great b/c we were able to go through towns we have never been to and we are planning to go back and visit them again. Our reason for going to MB for our last Summer Fling was b/c I had a free ticket to Medieval Times and since we love going we couldn't let the ticket expire. Our Knight was the Red and Yellow Knight---we have been choosing our Knight for the past few years but I think we are going to have just let it be random draw from now on because our Knight always LOSES!!! Even though our Knight did lose we had a great meal at the show. After the show we headed to get Krispy Kreme Doughnuts--yes, we did just eat a great meal at MT so these amazing Doughnuts were saved and will be eaten this week--and then back to the hotel for the evening.

Today(Sunday) we went to Gospel Brunch at the House of Blues. If you have never been then you really need to go. It was a fabulous meal and wonderful worship. The band, Gospel, was amazing! They kept you smiling and your hands clapping--when you weren't stuffing your face with chicken and waffles or banana bread pudding--my fav!! FIVE stars to to the Gospel Brunch at HOB in Myrtle Beach--thinking this might need to be our new Sunday tradition for the Moak family vacation. A little shopping was completed at Broadway at the Beach before we headed on back to the house.

I love spending time with my husband b/c we learn more about each other and we get to have fun. Life is an adventure and every moment should be treasured. Oh, one more silly thing.....we decided to start using a hashtag for Facebook, twitter, instagram, etc. when we go on trips. Our hashtag is #trippintruesdales!

Later Gators.....

How Are They Doing?

Until this week I have been given updates on the kiddos due to having had phone conversation with the kids worker about various things. It has been really tough for me this week b/c I am no longer a part of their lives. I wish that things would have been different but.....

I think about them everyday.

I miss them.

Are they ok?

How is school going?

Did we do the right thing?

I wonder if they think about us.



.....will the hurt ever go away....

....where do we go from here...

Those six words have been resounding in my head for days. What do we do next? Do we keep inquiring about kids? Should we go the private route? Do we want to try other options like in vitro? Do we give up? Do we ask God to take the desire away?  What do we do?

Where do we go from here?!?!  

The past few weeks have been a continuous roller-coaster of emotions but one thing that has shined out the most is that I am closer to my Lord than I feel I have ever been. I have started a new bible study on HOPE and every day the message I am receiving is to stay the course and to not give up. The first few days in the study talked about adoption which of course brought back more emotions but I feel that was Gods way of telling me that He is right there beside me. God is showing me that He does not give us a desire that He will not fulfill. He might not fulfill it how I think it should be fulfilled but how He has planned--isn't that awesome to know that His plan is much greater than mine or yours could ever be imagined to be!!

Robert and I have been poised the question about keeping our house open as a Foster Home while waiting on a match for an adoption.Tonight, we made the decision to keep our license open. With this we have the opportunity to have children placed in our home for a week, month or longer but the choice is ultimately up to use if the child(ren) are placed with us while their parents get their lives on a better track. Of course, at times foster placements lead to adoption too. This is scary territory for us because again we are opening up our hearts and home but we are excited to see where God leads us with this new part of our "forever family" journey.

As we continue along this path we ask that you continue to pray with and for us and our future children.

Proverbs 13:12--"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But when the desire comes, it is a tree of life"

Are you Ok?

Are you OK or how are you feeling are two questions our loving and supportive friends have asked me over the past few days...well the answer is NO, I am not but one day I will get there. I am sad, happy, mad, hopeful, and any other emotion you can think of at the moment. I do not know what the future will hold in reference to expanding our family and that scares me to death.

It will get better....one day.

Food for Thought

Just in case you are interested, here is an article about foster home placement disruptions and the reasoning are spot on---

Why Do Foster Care Disruptions Occur?

Being Transparent--is it worth it?

Over the past twenty four hours I have been thinking about everything we have been through the past ten months. We have given the world a glimpse of what it is like to go through the adoption process---from trainings, paperwork, inspections, waiting, visits with children, and then heart break from a placement not working out (note: our most recent placement was a foster to adopt placement and we were given this option due to the children being labeled as a "difficult placement". we were not at the adoption point yet as we were trying to determine if we, as parents, were a fit for the children--in hindsight, more visits should have taken place prior to placement to determine if the fit was a good one or not--LESSON LEARNED!).

Has it really been worth it to share this with everyone?

YES!

Every moment has been worth it because we know that somehow God is using what we have been through and what we are continuing to go through to minister to others.

I fully believe that God will not give you a desire if He is not going to fulfill it. Our God is loving, kind, gracious, and compassionate. He teaches us lessons by allowing us to go through experiences that test us and will bring us to rock bottom--maybe b/c we need to look up more!!! 

We are looking to HIM now for more guidance than ever as the next steps need to be decided upon. We are faced with the decision to either keep our home licensed as a Foster Home or to close our license and remain open only for adoption. I am battling with this b/c I know that foster placements can ultimately lead to adoption but not in all cases as the reason for Foster Homes is for a temporary home while parents work on bettering themselves and improving the home for reunification. We will be making this decision in the coming days and we ask that you join us in praying to make the right decision. 

What have we learned over the past few weeks...

(1) We want a family 

(2) We need to be more informed and ask LOTS of questions about children presented to us--we now know what questions to ask!!!

(3) Baggage is not just what you take on trips

(4) Family and Friends are treasurers 

(5) a child should never physically assault an adult and think it is OK

(6) all children deserve to be loved

(7) Never give up, learn from your mistakes and use that experience for the future

Earlier today I ranted on Facebook b/c I was hurt(and still am) by people making rude and unfiltered comments. Yes, everyone is entitled to their opinion but until you know EVERYTHING that we have been through then we ask you to keep your comments to yourself or better yet do not even utter the comments. We have not shared with everyone what we(and family members) have been through with the children because most does not need to be shared.

As we continue our journey, we will share everything we go through--the good and the bad. We want others to ask us questions and we will ask too. Every moment is a learning experience.

Romans 8:18 "The pain you have been feeling cannot compare to the joy that is coming."

Frustration and Fun

We have full placement in effect!!! Our kiddos have been here since last Wednesday and boy oh boy has it been a HUGE change of pace for Robert and I. We have had attitudes, sass, talking back, rolling eyes, tantrums, stomping, slamming doors, yelling in the house, and more---you name it, we have been through it!!!

Thursday was a bad day for me. The plan was to unpack all their stuff and get things situated then go to the water-park--the last part was to be a surprise. Well, it all fell apart within and hour of Robert leaving for work. No one wanted to put their clothes up and decided to have fits. So needless to say, this mama broke down into tears and had to take a moment. My mom called to check in with us and she heard how upset I was in my voice so she dropped everything and came to my rescue---THANK GOD FOR MY MOMMY!!! Once the kids saw how upset I was they started doing what was asked of them. Within the hour my mom was here and she helped me finish the clothes. Once we did that then it was off to Orangeburg to pick up paperwork from the pediatricians office. We then headed to Lugoff with kids in tow so mom could get some clothes and stay the night with us to help me with things on Friday. The kids met Roddy and he definitely let them know who is boss with mama b/c he barked and barked at them. I sure do miss that little one--he is my boy!! So I guess you can figure out by now that the water-park was a no go for today. My mom old me that today was a frustrating day for all of us b/c I was probably expecting too much out of them to help with clothes and then I became overwhelmed with the amount of items and the fact that they wouldn't help---I just need to take a deep breath and realize everything will not be perfect in two days!!

Friday was MUCH better. We had a full day planned but they handled it well. All three were scheduled for an eye appt and two need glasses--Miss Priss informed me that she has perfect vision and that she did. All three had their eyes dilated so we opted to get some cooler sunglasses at WalMart instead of the paper ones from the doctor. We also got new ear plugs because I learned today that technology is my friend and the tablets we have were lifesavers!! All three are using mine, Roberts and my moms tablets right now until they get their own---thank you case worker for buying the three of them new tablets(they will be here soon we hope!!!). While we completed errands on Friday they played games, watched videos, etc.--still need to work on the types of videos they watch(more on this later). After the appt, eating at Ryans, and finalizing school registration the three got new school haircuts. They look so cute! Again, today was a good day!

Saturday is the day everyone was looking forward too. It is CHUCK E CHEESE day!!! We did not really have a plan in place for the day but we knew that each kiddo would pick out a new school outfit, of course Chuck E Cheese and then grocery shopping. We went to Target for the new outfits and I have to say the outfits were put together pretty quickly. After Target, we headed to Chuck E Cheese. The kids play for THREE HOURS non stop and had a blast. They would get several tokens at a time and then come back to the table to get more. This was our check in system b/c there is no way two adults can run after three children in that building. Robert and I enjoyed watching the kids and the smiles were worth every penny. We ventured to Publix for groceries and Miss Priss was my helper. She helped "drive" the cart--let's just say I basically was training for "SuperMarket Sweep". After the trip to Columbia was over we had a family devotion about "Respect". Each child was asked to name one rule in the house they are having trouble with and here is what we were told:

Oldest--Slamming Doors
Middle-- Following All Rules and Early Bed Time
Youngest--Stop Pouting

We prayed that each child would try their best to work on the rule that is giving them trouble. Thank you Cornerstone for the nightly kid devotions you give at church on Sundays--they are spot on for our crew!!!

Today (Sunday), we went to church and several of our friends were able to meet our crew. They have made "new" friends and we hope they will continue to make more who will be great influences on them. So I mentioned earlier about we are a little(ok, a lot) concerned about the types of things they have been allowed to watch or been around at former placements. We have learned from the kids today about wine, beer, slavery, sex--yes, even though I am certain they do not realize what they are saying, and more. WOW is all I could say to myself as I was hearing things come out of their mouths. We try to explain that things are inappropriate but they do not understand so we will just try out best to be good role models and have them around people who are good role models too.

School starts tomorrow so we are getting ready for bath time....pray for our kiddos as they start this new adventure this week.

Also some others things we are working on with them:
--proper use of the English language (I am still working on this one too b/c I am sure there are plenty of typo's in my blogs!!)
--manners
--appropriate song choices/artists

 Keep praying for us as Robert and I have a lot to learn too. I most importantly need to remember they are not perfect kids and there is no such thing as perfect any how!! Rome was not built in a day and my kids personalities have already been molded by others so we just need to give it time and apply some tender heat and pressure to help guide them along and mold them into the best they can be.

<3 br="">

Unsupervised Weekend Visit

Top Ten Things We Learned During Our Unsupervised Weekend Visit

10- SUGAR is our NEMESIS
9- Boys need to work on their aim
8- Macaroni and Cheese is food group
7- Single Serving Shampoo bottles exist
6- Co-op > 1 v 1
5- there is a such thing as the news?
4- bath tubs are cheaper than swimming pools
3- kids love church
2- grandparents are good for one thing...spoiling! 
1- our lives will never be boring

This weekend was a whirlwind! Friday came and the kiddos were full of energy and sugar...thanks to the candy jar I left out-oops! We did end up getting everyone bathed and in bed by 10:30 pm. Today was a crazy and trying day.

Saturday, our parents came over for a cookout. The kiddos were super good while they had visitors and enjoyed playing. They were given a few gifts and wanted more....but who doesn't love presents?!?! My mom told me my little girl is just like me and yes, I do see myself in her which means we are in trouble! After grandparents left, video games were played and then a movie was watched before bedtime. 

Sunday, we attended church and the kids really enjoyed it. They learned about respect which is something we are working on at home too. We started a rewards points system so they can see that good behavior is something to be rewarded (Negative behavior also has consequences and points are deducted). After church we ate lunch and then went to the park to play. Two hours of good wholesome fun was had by all. After playing we came home and got ready for bath time and then bedtime.  

Monday, our kiddos headed back to their current placement but only for two nights. Wednesday begins our placement and we covet your prayers for adjustment and schedules to fall in place.

We will keep you posted on how things are going as often as we can....

Pizza and Painting

On Friday, August 1, the kiddos came to see their new home for the first time. First thing the oldest said was "it took us over an hour to get here!". We exchanged hugs and showed the kiddos the new basketball goal they have--thank you again to the Douglas', Peake's and Stockman's for the amazing gift, they loved it!! After throwing a few hoops we all went inside and the kids wanted to see their rooms but first they saw all the pictures we had up around the house of them from our first two visits. Down the hall they went and the huge SMILES said it all once they were in their rooms and we were thrilled that they approved. Thanks to their awesome grandparents, we had school supplies for each one, book bags, and lunch boxes on the beds along with a toy and soccer ball for each. After exploring the house we took their toys into the living room and opened them up---the toys were a type of lego/building blocks that light up. As we were building the case workers(foster care worker and the adoption worker) were observing and writing on their tablets; this part is the worst because you are being "judged" on how you act and react to situations. Oh well, we know this is part of the process but it is not the fun part.

We made pizzas for our lunch and it was so neat to watch the three kiddos make their own. The oldest was very cute and made a pepperoni smiley face on his, the middle was very meticulous about putting his sauce on all the way to the edges and the youngest just wanted to eat the pepperoni instead of putting it on her pizza. Once we cooked the pizzas we all (and our adoption worker--she is like a member of the family now!) sat at the table. We held hands and the oldest said the blessing. While eating the kids couldn't keep their booties in the chairs. They are up and down, up and down, up and down---I joked with them that we are going to install seat-belts so they will sit on their bottoms.  The rule is no one can leave the table until everyone is finished. I was eating and the oldest wanted to go outside so bad. I said once we finish then we can go out. I slowly ate my last piece and he said "mom, come on!!". The kiddos went outside with Rob and I cleaned up inside. There was a moment of arguing with the boys so we have some drama but nothing this "mama" couldn't handle. All was well after a few minutes of talking and we quickly learned that locks on bedroom doors are coming off.

The whole family ended up in the master bedroom with the computer, tablets, and cell phones. The oldest showed me a new website he likes called razkids.com to help with his reading skills. Apparently you must we a teacher to get a subscription. So if any of our friends/family have one please let us know so we can give your our kids names to add them on so they can use this great tool!! The oldest played on the computer with some help from Robert, the middle sat with me on the bed and we read a book together. We quickly learned a visit to the eye doctor is in our future! The youngest loves to play candy crush so she went to get my phone but the worker told her it was time to do. She also loves to sing and started singing "take me to the King". I had asked her at our first visit if she knew who the king was and she said yes, I said well who and she responded Jesus. So our babies have been to church before or they have been taught about our Lord--YAY!!

We talked about the next weekend and how they would be coming for the whole weekend and it would be unsupervised. The oldest wrote us a note and it is below.....

 

This was the sweetest note and of course it is posted on the fridge. We walked everyone out and said our goodbyes. Lots of hugs and kisses being blown once inside the van. The oldest yelled out the door and said to "pray for us". He also made a heart out of his hands....melt my heart! 

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On Saturday, my parents came to the house to help with painting and installing two fans. It was a  long ( hot, right mom?) but fun day updating their rooms. My mother-in-law brought us lunch from Chick-fil-a and she made dessert--awesome!!! 

Our family rocks!!

what does it all mean?

Thru our entire journey we have heard words like 'foster to adopt', pre-adoptive placement' and 'adoption'. To help clarify some of this we asked questions and now we will share with you the answers or how we interpreted those answers.

When we first began we were only getting approved to adopt. We did not want to foster because we did not think we could handle the chance of a child being placed in our home and then removed and returned to their bio parent.   The approval happened in February but we didn't get our official letter til a little later.

Currently we are getting licensed as foster parents. This is so we can have our kiddos moved in and we can start the adjustment period. We will now be labeled as a 'foster to adopt' home.

After a while, we do not know exact time frames, we will then become a 'pre-adoptive' home at which time we will sign contracts for our kiddos to officially be ours at a later date-yes, again we do not know when that will be.

Once adoption contracts are signed and all continues to go well a date will be set for the 'adoption' so our kiddos will then legally be Truesdales! 

We cannot wait for the day to have a family of 5 plus Roddy!

Bowling vs Arcade Games (Second Family Date 7/26/14)

We had our second family date and decided to eat at Zaxbys and them go bowling. We ate and talked about 'ghost' stories they have been told. I thought the  'bloody mary' story had gone away but obviously not. We told them those were stories and not true. Of course the boys want to try it out...we will nix this quickly!

After lunch we headed to bowl. The first thing they see when we walk in are arcade games....and they went right over to them. I decided to let them 'play' while I got shoes and paid for our games. We decided to play two games....with bumpers. Our shoes were really stylish. 

After half of the first game they were 'bored' and wanted to play the games. So we made a deal that we would all play our two games and then they could play the arcade games. I ran to the atm during the second game so we could get quarters.  After the bowling was over they darted to the games....yes, darted! We gave them the equal amount of quarters and said you can play/use them however you want but when the money is gone that is it. Within a ten minute period the money was gone. We ended the date with cookies and a drink.

Lesson of the day: arcade games are better than bowling

Lots of you have wanted to know what the next steps are so here is the TENTATIVE timeline:

*Supervised visit on Aug 1
*Weekend Unsupervised Visit Aug 8 thru 11
*Move in on August 13

Also, we have been asked the kids sizes:

Oldest boy wears size 10/12 shirt, 10 bottoms, and 3 shoes

Middle boy wears 10/12 shirt, 8 bottoms and 4 shoes

Girl wear 8/10 shirt, 10 bottoms and 1 shoes

The boys love WWE wrestling, electronics, star wars legos, and anything you can do outside.

The girl loves princesses, arts and crafts, animals, dress up and any outside activity.

We are VERY excited about our world changing soon so keep praying for us all.

Our First Family Date

All week Robert and I have been anticipating how the first “family date” would go. I kept telling him(and others) it was like we were going on a first date and I was not sure what to say, wear, etc. Robert said that it will flow as it should and that I should not be nervous.

We got ready for the day and of course we had to take a picture of our excited faces—those might also be scared to death faces too!! 

We headed to Columbia for the day. We decided to eat lunch first at Mellow Mushroom. We met the three kiddos there along with their caseworker; she is such a wonderful lady and has been a great person to talk with about the kids. We arrived early and got us a table upstairs. We sat and were waiting….the kiddos came up the steps and immediately ran over to us and gave us big hugs, high fives and handshakes---melt your heart!!! The girl wanted to sit by me and the oldest boy sat by Robert. The middle boy sat on the same side with me and the little girl. The first thing we did was go over names—we were called Mr. and Ms. and then “mommy and daddy” came later when we were playing at Edventure. We were a little taken back by being called “mommy and daddy” but we rolled with it and answered to those names. I still do not think they know our real names—ha ha! 

The next thing to come out of the eldest’s mouth was “when can we go to that castle y’all visit all the time?”—yes, they already want to go to Disney. Of course, this will have to wait a WHILE as the amount it will cost for 5 people is crazy. We of course got to know them a little more and know a few more of their likes. I was told that I look young and that Robert was an older man...HA HA! The boys enjoy WWE and their favorite wrestler is John Cena. The eldest wore a star wars shirt which of course made Robert smile. The girl is not a prissy girl so you know I will be working on that--she is in for a crazy overload of dresses, ruffles, monograms, and more!!

We ordered our pizza’s and the youngest two just did not want to stay in their chairs. The case worker and I redirected them and the boy did as we said but the girl decided I was “mean”. She got over that after pouting for a few minutes and decided to eat and give me “kisses” on my arm. She tried to get her way by asking Robert for the same thing I told her “no” about and he did not give in—yes, we are a team!

After eating it was time for EDVENTURE!!!  Talk about stimulation overload!!! They were soooooo excited and had sooooo much energy that it was a four hour workout for Robert, caseworker and I basically we were wrangling children the entire time. They wanted to do everything and we wanted them to do everything. We did have a few moments where we had to have time out because of running off from us. I had put in place some “rules” before we went inside and the consequence was that they would have a time out with me if they did not listen and rand off---again, I was “mean” mom but they still gave me BIG hugs and HUGE smiles throughout the day. The hit of Edventure was the grocery store, pizza parlor, fire truck and of course Eddie. Before we left, we wanted to let them take something home with them from the store. The items they picked were a PowerAde(oldest), M&M’s(youngest) and a chef’s outfit(middle). 

The day gave us some insight as to what we will need to do as parents in the future. We know that structure and proper discipline will make a great difference in their lives. We also know that the family and friends we help in molding our kiddos into the amazing men and women they will become in the future.

The day was full of laughter, smiles, running(and chasing after children), joy, and most of all our hearts were filled to the top with love. 

We will keep you posted on our next adventure….

The Decision

Over the past week Robert and I have had some serious conversations about the changes that would take place in our lives when three children (one day I can share their names!!) are added.  We have discussed schedules, time commitments to organizations we are a part of, bedroom furniture, what children eat, how nervous we are and how excited we are too...the list goes on and on and on. I guess we now know how it feels, maybe a tiny bit, when preparing for a newborn.

I knew my decision of "YES" the moment we walked out of the office on Friday afternoon, June 27--if you ask Robert, he always knows how I fully feel about something because I wear every emotion I have on my face...he always knows what I am thinking, it is scary!!! Even though I knew (and He knew what I was thinking) what I decided, we still needed to read their information and evaluate what we can handle. My heart broke as I read some of the info but then rejoiced when I read more. I read the file two or three times and decided to make "positive plates" on each child. Nothing fancy but I took a plate and wrote their names on them. I read through the file (again) and every positive adjective I read I wrote it on the plate--they filled up pretty quickly! One thing that I kept going back to in my head was a reminder that a sweet friend, Rachael (who is also going through the adoption process too) said to me--these children are more than their file. This statement has been resonating in my head over and over and over because it is the truth. The information stated on paper about someone should not define who they are and who they will become.

Moving on, Robert had not said much about the children and so I started to ask him questions every day--yes, every day! He is very much a logical thinker in my eyes...so happy he is my partner in life because he helps me down off of ledges often. On Thursday, I started asking again about what he was thinking. He told me about concerns he had but nothing that could not be handled. His concerns were mainly commitment and schedules....basically, he wanted to make sure that we are fully committed because three children is a HUGE addition to our family. We discussed some more and then we agreed, that YES, we want to meet these three AMAZING children.

Now, I would be lying if I said that we were not nervous, scared, excited, overjoyed, *insert any adjective you can think of* about the opportunity to meet the three children and add to our family. We are very optimistic about the next steps and cannot wait to see how God works. We have sent a hard copy of our Family Book to the children’s worker. They will then review it and decide if they want to meet us--fingers crossed they say YES!!! After that, we meet.

Continue to pray for us as we prepare our hearts and minds to meet these three. Our hearts are bursting with joy but many steps are left to get to the finish line.

I can say without any doubt that our Savior has been with us through the entire process. From day one, we have had a smooth (at times crazy because of my impatience) journey. Robert reminded me all the time that things happen when they are supposed to and that I need to just let Him work. Our Lord gave me peace when I needed it most and has guided us to make all decisions we have made. He has placed certain people in our lives to give us good, sound, Godly advice when we felt lost or needed a little boost. We cannot say thank you enough to our Lord but I do know that we can raise these three children in a Godly home and show them the love of our sweet Lord.

Continue to pray with and for us and the children. Also, pray for those who are still waiting-children and potential parents.

We love you!

the phone call

Last week Robert and I were on vacation with my family for our yearly family trip to Myrtle Beach. The week was so relaxing and we enjoyed spending time with my crazy but fun-loving family. While we were having a fun day with Kaitlin, my eighteen year old little cousin, I looked at my phone and noticed a missed call. Robert looked at his too and he had a missed call from the same person. I checked the message and it was from Region III Adoptions...of course I had to call them back immediately. I stepped outside of Wonder Works and returned the phone call. Our worker was gone on vacation so I spoke with her supervisor who informed me that our home study had been chosen for a sibling set of three--you read that right, THREE!!! Needless to say we were shocked but super excited too.Now, before you get all crazy and start saying stuff like "wow that is a lot" or "do you really think you can handle that many",  just keep an open mind--because we are.

We have been told a little bit about these three children and will learn more this Friday when we go to speak to their worker for the presentation of information. At this meeting we will learn everything the agency knows about them. I am hoping we get to see a picture too!! We do know that the ages are 6, 8 and 10; youngest is a girl and to thew oldest are boys. After the meeting we will then have a week or two do read over their info and make a decision whether or not we feel that we are the best match for them and vice versa. After a decision is made, if we say YES then the children will get our family book and make a decision if they want to meet us or not. If they say YES, then we meet each other and have visits, weekend visits, and then over night at our house. If at anytime we say NO or they say NO, then the process for these little bambinos stops and we wait for another phone call. (We do not want to think about the NO part right now!!)

A little bit of a rewind....we were told right before we went on vacation that we were being sent to committee for a different  sibling group as well who are ages 11 and 12, one boy and one girl. Our home study was being submitted against another for review at the end of this month/beginning of next. We are currently on hold while we are reviewing the information on the above three children.

So, in telling you this new bit of info we are asking for you to join us in prayer as we go into this next part of the journey. Pray that we have an open mind and heart as we digest the information that we will receive on the three little ones. Pray that we follow Gods path for our family. Pray for the children as they make a decision about their future parents. 

Best advice we have received since the phone call came from my 84 year old Bubba...."you gotta give them a fair shake"....

We will keep you posted....

a Happy day

Mothers Day...for some this day is filled with joy but for others this day is filled with sadness, loss, grief and longing. I will be honest, I was not looking forward to this weekend at all. I knew that events I attended would spark lots of emotion and I was not sure that I could control them. Even though I was not in the mood to "celebrate" I am happy that I attended the events of the weekend. 

Pine Grove Baptist Church holds a luncheon for Mothers and Daughters each year. Last year was one filled with tears for me but this year it was one filled with happiness and joy. I was able to spend time with my mother and my mother in law. The entertainment was filled with laughter and the whole atmosphere was one of joy and celebration. At the luncheon I was able to spend time with my mother. My mom is the best role model and has given me large shoes to fill for when I do become a mother. My mom is always there for me to listen to my happy times and the sad times. I am so thankful God blessed me with my mother...I love you mom!!! I also got to celebrate my mother in law, Barbara. She has the kindest heart and is so loving...love you!

Today, on Mothers Day, I have had the best day. I have received sweet messages from my dear family and friends that have encouraged me all day long. Thank you, I am so honored to have you in my life! Oh and guess what....I only cried once this weekend which has shown me that I am learning to control the emotions and not let the emotions control me.

Here is an update on the adoption world:

Over the past few months we have made inquiries on several children in SC, GA, NC, and yes, even Kentucky! Not until the past two weeks have we had any calls/emails back on the inquiries. Last week, we heard from our worker about a seven year old in SC. Our info has been sent to her worker which will now be reviewed and then if we are "chosen" our home study will be sent to her review committee to determine if we are a good match. 

Another inquiry we have heard back from is for a sweet seven year old little girl in Kentucky. Last week we were notified that our home study has been sent to her review committee and that her worker will be in touch with us once she has received a repsonse. 

We have inquired about a little boy in Georgia too and received an email repsonse last night that our home study has been forwarded on to his worker. 

YAY for getting responses to our inquiries!! The tough part right now is waiting. We send an inquiry about a child or sibling group but we rarely hear back for the worker as to if we are being considering or not. So hearing for the three listed above in two weeks time is amazing. We have noticed that the out of state workers are much faster in responding to us than those in SC---this annoys us because there are over 600 children who are legally free to be adopted in SC!! We did send a few inquiries via SC Heart Gallery and the workers have been very prompt in responding to our inquiries and questions about the process. 

So, again we wait but this time we know that somewhere God is preparing our child(ren)  for us just like he is preparing us for them.

Our adventure continues....

Family Book

Here is our simple Family Book that we made to share with the children we will meet so they can know a little bit about us, our families and what fun adventures we like to take.

Enjoy....

Click here to view this photo book larger

Turn your favorite photos into a photo book at Shutterfly.com.

Faith

This picture sums up the past few weeks for me.

Faith....it won't always be easy but it is worth it!

<3

WE GOT MAIL---twice!

Last week we got the news that our Adoption Home Study was being reviewed by our adoption specialists supervisor and then the next step would be to receive our approval letter in the mail. All week long I would get excited when the mail would come and each time there would be no letter...until Saturday!!! On Saturday night Robert and I got home and we checked the mail. I was so excited when I saw the letter from DSS---even did a little dance by the truck showing Robert the envelope. I opened it up and the letter was addressed to another couple. HUGE disappointment spread across my face and of course my heart was a little hurt too. I know people make mistakes and get busy but all I could say was "REALLY?!?!?!?" I sent a message to our specialist and she felt awful but said that our corrected letter will be in the mail soon--wahoo!  I did find humor in the whole letter mix up. The other couple are named Mr. and Mrs. Eager, well we are EAGER to find out what is in store for our little family in the coming months. 

Here is the first letter we got(of course all info is blurred over because we do not want to get anyone in trouble or break confidentiality by giving out the other couples contact info)...

And today we received OUR letter so the matching/meeting children can begin!!! We have registered with AdoptUSkids.org which will open up doors to other states however we still feel strongly about adopting from SC. We will sit back and wait because God is in control. 

  


1 Peter 1:6-8 “In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen Him, you love Him; and even though you do not see Him now, you believe in Him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy.”