Exhausted. Yes, I am. For the past few weeks I have been in a fog or maybe it is a funk. Whatever you want to call it, it is not fun.
I am irritable. I am tired. I am making mistakes. I am ill. I am......enter any word that is not pleasant.
Today was my boiling point. I came home from a late appointment, missed a meeting, have a hungry/whiney toddler, and told my husband that tonight he is doing the evening routine because I need some time to myself. And if I didn't get the moments to me then I was leaving. (Technically I won't leave but you get the picture of the level I am at).
So after eating cheap takeout because I wasn't cooking that is what I got. An hour (roughly) to myself. In this hour, I thought about me amd what I do every day. I wake up, get ready for work, take my little man to school, work, pick him up from school, come home (or run errands), cook supper, bath time, play, bed time snuggles.....whew....where do I have a moment for me to breathe?? I don't or I feel like I don't. I am just stuck in a rut and needed an escape even if just for one hour. (During that hour I did get to hear giggles between dad and son which was music to my ears)
I couldn't tell you the last time I watched something other than Disney Jr at night. PJ Masks and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse you are great but I need some adult TV too. Thank goodness for netflix and replays during lunch hours.
I am not complaining because I do love my life. I love being a mom and want a house full of crazy kiddos. I love being a wife even though I suck at the "housekeeping "part and the submissive thing too. I love being a social worker when I am pulled in 200000 directions and expected to make magic happen. I love being a Jamberry Consultant and Travel Agent with Magical Wishes Travel because the happiness people express from these two make my heart explode. I love being a daughter even though I am stubborn and still want to do things my way. I love being a friend even though I stink at keeping in touch most of the time.
I honestly love it ALL but sometimes I need someone else to take on a few responsibilities so I can keep my head above water and again.....just breathe.
I hate time goes so quickly because I know I will look back at these days soon and wish I could have it all again.
All in all, I needed that one hour....yep, still exhausted but now its time to climb into bed with my toddler and let him kick me a few more times in the side while he fights sleep and get a few more snuggles before he stops giving them so freely.
